Interpreting life

Many years ago—twenty years, give and take— I was invited into a community of local people with good intentions. The founder was a philosopher, a lawyer, a pacifist and a self-proclaimed humanitarian. The community, which he had created, was intended as a small cell from which peace, love, justice, and harmony would develop and spread throughout the city and from there to the world. As ambitious and lofty these ideas sounded, in the end, they produced very few results. At first, the community attracted idealists, like my husband and me and a few others, and people in various forms and levels of financial distress. In those years, another similar enterprise had grown and spread as wildfire throughout our city. This latter one had a more hierarchical structure and a very vague plan. Both projects eventually failed.

Years later, I’m trying to interpret that experience. I attended the meetings for at least three years. I went from enthusiastic supporter to disillusioned antagonist. I paid a high price for the experience. I was cheated into a disastrous living trust by the founder—the philosopher, lawyer, humanitarian and guru. What did I get from the experience? Was I just a victim of a narcissistic clown? No. I met people from different walks of life from my own, people in financial distress. Some vied for the guru’s favors and fought each other. Not a pretty sight. Yet, my understanding of society and of the intricacies of human behavior opened up. I made friends where I never even dreamt of finding them. They were there for me when tragedy struck and I was there for them. I never look at anybody as different and separate. We are truly all one.